Transcript of Oprah Winfrey Stanford

Amanda: Great, and that’s a perfect segue to go to our second section which —I read this quote, and it just struck me as so true, and I wanted to delve into it. I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common. They all wanted validation, I will tell you that every single person you will ever meet, shares that common desire.

So, Oprah, you are a true renaissance woman. You know, you have your own network, you had this amazingly successful show for 25 years. You’ve been in movies. You areone of the most important philanthropists of our time. So, what are the qualities?

Oprah Winfrey: I love hanging around you what else are you going to say? I’m just taking it all in.

Amanda: I love it too so we –

Oprah Winfrey: You know, the part I love the most is renaissance woman. As you said that I went, what does that really mean? I don’t know but I like it.

Amanda: I was a history major so it seemed like a natural.

Oprah Winfrey: I’m a renaissance woman. Who knew? Okay, go ahead.

Amanda: Good, I’m glad you like it. What are the qualities of your leadership that make you successful at such diverse pursuits? And what works for in one area that maybe doesn’t work in another?

Oprah Winfrey: Well, I tell you. It works in all areas because I, my life is fueled by my being. And the being fuels the doing, so, I come from a centered place. I come from a focus place, I come from compassion, it’s just my nature. I come from a willingness to understand and to be understood.

And I come from wanting to connect. I mean, the secret of that show for 25 years,is that people could see themselves in me. All over the world. They could see themselves in me. And even as I became more and more financially successful, which was a big surprise to me.

 I was like, oh my God! This is so exciting!

Amanda: You mean, you got more than that 30,000?

Oprah Winfrey: I got more than 30,000, by the time I was 30, so my — But what I realized is through the whole process, because I’m grounded in my own self,that although I could have more shoes, my feet stayed on the ground.

Although I was wearing better shoes, these are kind of cute today too. So I could keep my feet on the ground, even though I could get more shoes. And I can understand. I could understand that it really was, because I was grounded.

I’ve done the — was doing, and continue to this day, to do the consciousness work.

I work at staying awake. And being awakened is just another word for spirituality, but spirituality throws people off, and they think you mean religion. When I was hiring people for my company, for own looking for presidents. When people would come in, I’d say, tell me what is your spiritual practice? And literally, would throw out, people would – well, I’m not religious. I said, I didn’t ask you about your religion. I asked you what’s your spiritual practice? What do you do to take care of yourself? What do you do to keep yourself centered? What do you do to let — and, you know one women started crying.

You know that’s not the person.

Amanda: That’s a sign.

Oprah Winfrey: That’s a sign. So, so to answer your question. Everything is fueled that comes from me really wanting to be a better person on earth. And this is what I know to be true, the reason why the show worked is because I understood that that audience. My viewers, the people who watched us every day, and would come, and just like you all did. Get tickets, and they would come with their — you all just came across campus, but that’s good too.

But people would come from all over the world, just to be there with their aunts, their mothers, and they’d come with their cousins.

And there’d be a few men and they’re going, What the hell — Or saying, Well, I went to Oprah with you, I went to Oprah. At least get me clear for three or four weeks, I went to Oprah. I had such regard for that, and I just had a conversation with John Mackey who runs Whole Foods and has written this fabulous book, you should get it, called Conscious Capitalism. And he was talking about how the investment in the stakeholders, the people who you a reserving that connection between the people who you’re trying to serve and sell to is equally as important as the people who you’re buying from. Equally as important as the people who are, you know, supporting you financially.

As your stockholders if you were, you know, you know a public company.So, I always understood that there really was no difference between me andthe audience. At times, I might have had better shoes. But at the core, thecore of what really matters, that we are the same. You know how I know that?

Because all of us are seeking the same thing. You’re here at this fabulous school and will go out into the world. And each pursue, based upon what you believe your talents are, what your skills are, maybe your gifts are, but you’re seeking the same thing. Everybody wants to fulfill the highest, truest expression of yourself as a human being. That’s what you’re looking for. The highest, truest expression of yourself as a human being.

And because I understand that, I understand that if you’re working in a bakery and that’s where you want to be. And that may be the – that may be what you always wanted to do is to bake pies for people, or bake cakes for people or to offer your gift. Then, then that’s, that’s for you. And there’sno difference between you and me, except that’s your platform. That’s yourshow everyday.

So my understanding of that has allowed me to, you know –

Amanda: Reach everyone.

Oprah Winfrey: To reach everyone. And there’s no way that you wouldn’t.

Because that, that’s what I truly feel. And when I sit down to talk tos omebody, whether I’m talking to a murderer, I sat down and I interviewed a guy who killed his twin daughters. I’ve interviewed child molesters trying to figure out what it is, what is — what it is they do and why they do it.Obviously lots of people who have been victimized through molestation.

Presidents, politicians, Beyoncé herself. At the end of every interview the murderer to Beyoncé, the question everybody asks that you mentioned is, was that okay, how was that.

Everybody says that and I, and I know just wait forit. Was that okay, was I okay, and when I finish I’ll say to you, was I okay.

Amanda: I’m going to ask you too.

Oprah Winfrey: Okay. You’re very okay. You’re doing very okay, very okay.

So, what I started to feel, feel, sense, is that there’s a common thread that runs through every interview. It doesn’t matter what is, or what it is about, everybody wants to know. And this is the truth, all of your arguments are really about the same thing.

It’s about: Did you hear me? Did you see me? And did what I said mean anything to you? That’s what everything’s about.

So the reason why I left my boss’s office, when I was asking for a raise, I knew he didn’t hear nor see me neither. And that I was not going to get the validation that I needed. Now I couldn’t articulate that at the time, but I just knew let me get out of here. But now, I know, I can feel it inside of myself. I’m not going to get the validation that I’m looking for.

I also know, that that’s what every human being is looking for. They are looking to know, are you fully here with me. Are you fully here, or are you distracted? That’s what your, that’s what your children want to know, that’s your, what the people you work for want to know, that’s what you want to know is did you hear me?

And every argument isn’t about whatever it is you think you’re arguing about. It’s really about, but can you hear me? And many people have even said it.

Have you not said it? You’re not hearing me. You’re not hearing me.

So, having, having that understanding. And I would have to say that the show,one of the reasons why I live such a fantastic life, is because I pay attention. I pay attention to my life. And your life is your greatest teacher. Every single thing that’s happening to you every day. Your joys,your sadnesses, your challenges, your worries, everything is happening to bring you closer to in here. Everything is trying to take you home to yourself. And when you’re at home with yourself, when you’re solidly there,connected to whatever you call creation. Even if you don’t call it anything, connected to an energy force that is — that has unlimited power for you. When you could connect to that you are your best.

My greatest, one of my greatest lessons came from a guy who wrote a book called Seat of the Soul. I was doing him on the show and I started talking this consciousness spiritual talk, you know, two months after I started the show.

And my producers will all be like, oh God, there she goes again. But I knew that even though masses of people were not tuning in for that. That the whole purpose of that platform was to try to lift people up. And now, I have a network and I can articulate what it is I’m trying to do. I’m trying to bring little pieces of light into people’s lives.

Because what is my job? My job is not to be an interviewer. My job is not to be a talk show host or just to own a network. I am here to raise the level of consciousness, to connect people to ideas and stories, so that they can see themselves and live better lives.

Amanda: Thank you. I want to switch gears and focus a bit on philanthropy.

Oprah Winfrey: Are you worried about getting all of your stuff in?

Amanda: No, we’re doing great. We’re just going to keep going. I think everyone likes this, right? We’re good?

Oprah Winfrey: Okay.

Amanda: So, I watched your interview with the Forbes conference on philanthropy. And you said something really interesting. Which is that early on some of your biggest mistakes in giving were because you made emotional decisions.

Oprah Winfrey: Yeah.

Amanda: And yet we learn here at the GSB like, one of the crucial messages that we take away with us is that it is really important to be, as you said before, self aware, to be understanding, often to share our emotions with others. You yourself have been the master of you know, harnessing vulnerability with yourself and your guests over the years.

So, how do you strike a balance between emotion and logic? How do you make sure that you’re making logical decisions when you’re giving?

Oprah Winfrey: These are so well thought out.

Amanda: Thank you.

Oprah Winfrey: Okay, let me think about that for a moment. Very good.

Amanda: Thank you.

Oprah Winfrey: Okay. Well I would have to say that you need both. You need emotion and you need logic. So, in the beginning, I was purely emotional

.Made a lot of mistakes. I happened to be sitting. I was sharing this story with Dean Saloner just before he came on. I was sitting in Nelson Mandela’s living room. And I’m not just saying that to name drop. I was actually sitting there.

Amanda: You stayed with him, right?

Oprah Winfrey: I stayed with him for — stayed with him for ten days. And as I said to the Dean and [Lisa] I could have, I literally could have written a book called 29 meals. Because I had 29 meals with him at that particular time. I wish I had.

Amanda: Yeah you should.

Oprah Winfrey: I should’ve.

Amanda: You should do it now.

Oprah Winfrey: I didn’t record it so some things I think was that the 2nd meal or the 12th meal. Anyway, so I was sitting in Nelson – sitting with Adiva and we were talking about how, how do you really make an impact in the world. And we were reading the paper and we, I’d reached the point where I was no longer like, oh my God what am I going to say. Because we were just sitting in silence reading the paper.

And there was an article in the paper about, you know, some tragic situation. And we both started talking about the way to end poverty is through education. And I said to him, I really at some point would like to build a school over there.

And then, he got up and called the minister of education, and said get over here now, Oprah wants to build a school. And I was like well I was thinking about it. I didn’t say I wanted to do it today.

But so we literally started the process then. It was an emotional decision for me in that I think philanthropy should come out of you, your doing should come out of your being. Everybody knows my story as a poor negro child growing up in apartheid Mississippi. And if it were not for education and being born at the right time, because I was literally born in the year of desegregation.

Five years before, three years before, two years before, nobody would have even had the hope that my life could have been any different.

So because I was born at that time, and literally moved out of Mississippi by the time I was in my first classroom. I was in Kindergarten.

Wrote mykindergarten teacher a letter, Ms. New. I said, dear Ms. New, I do not belong here. Because I know a lot of big words. And then, I wrote every big word I knew – Elephant, hippopotamus, Mississippi, Nicodemus, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the Bible, so, and then Ms News says, who did this? I said, I did. So, they marched me off to the principal’s office, the only time I was ever in there.

Principal’s office, principal made me sit and write those words again and I got myself out of kindergarten, into first grade.

Amanda: Oh my god.

Oprah Winfrey: First grade, skipped second grade, hell er her. The Renaissance began.

Amanda: Yeah. You’ve always had this conviction. You’ve always – it seems like you’ve always known who you are, even if you were –

Oprah Winfrey: Well I knew I didn’t belong there with those kids.

Amanda: You knew that.

Oprah Winfrey: In kindergarten, you’re sitting there, that’s what I’m talking about listen to your instincts. You look around and say these kids — they are playing with some blocks. And I know Nicodemus. I do not think I belong inhere, I do not belong in here. So my point is, my point is education really opened the door as we all know. I’m not going to give you the education speech.

How do you change a person’s life? I had — prior to starting my school in South Africa, I had this big idea that I was going to, emotional — that I was going to take all 100 families out of the projects, in Cabrini Green. And I was going to give them a new life and I was going to buy them homes and stuffand that did not work. It would fail miserably.

I had a Big Sister program that I started, failed miserably. So I realized that for me — first of all,  realize you don’t change, as you all are recognizing through the seed program. You first have to change the way a person thinks and sees themselves.

So you’ve got to create a sense of aspiration, a sense of hopefulness so a person can see, can begin to even have a vision for a better life. And if you can’t connect to that, then, then, then, then you lose. You lose and they lose. And it’s just money after money after money. So, for me it’s using my philanthropy to do what I have found to been enormously helpful. You know, the light in my life was education.

So for me, in the beginning when I started to make money, especially when it’s published, everybody and your brother calls you. And then you’ve got to make a decision. Am I going to do what everybody else wants me to do? Or, am I going to be led by who I really am? And I learned, as will happen to anybody who’s successful in your family, people start treating you like the First National Bank.

And, you’ve got to decide. You’ve got to draw the boundaries for yourself. And decide, how are you going to use your money, your talent,your time, in such a way that it’s going to serve you first. Because if you,if it doesn’t allow you to be filled up, then you get depleted and you no longer — you can’t keep doing it.

So my decisions are now emotional and logical. Meaning I choose education,but I do it in such a way that’s actually going to benefit a person that I’m serving. Then it’s not just, oh I want to help people.

Amanda: Amanda: Thank you. So to move on to our last part, you said at the end ofyour 25 years, gratitude is the single greatest treasure I will take with mefrom this experience. So now, you started your own network and you continueto be very involved in your philanthropy and your school. Is there anything left that you’re scared to try?

Oprah Winfrey: Whoa, Amanda. You must have been up all night long.Amanda: I’ve prepared a little bit. Just a little.

Oprah Winfrey: Oh, my goodness. Anything left that I’m scared to try? No. No, and I’m just trying to think what — I’m just trying to think, well, is there something that I haven’t thought of.

Amanda: Well, there’s not much you haven’t done so.

Oprah Winfrey: Well, but I stay in my lane.

Amanda: Yeah.

Oprah Winfrey: I stay, I know where my lane is. I know what my lane is. I know that my real calling is what I said earlier. I know what it looks like to the rest of the world. Oh, she’s a talk show celebrity but I really know what I’m here to do, which is the number one thing I would say to you.

First let me answer your question.

So no, there’s nothing, I’m not scared to try. I haven’t even – I had hit my stride but I haven’t done what I ultimately came to do. There still is a supreme moment of destiny that awaitsme and I also knew that during the Oprah Show.

I’ve kept a journal since I was 15 years old. It’s so pitiful when you go back and see how pathetic you were as a person, sometimes. But I always knew even during that show, that the show, we live in a fame culture, we live in a fame centered world, you know. Had this literally been during the Renaissance, people would have valued different things.

We’ve been doing the Transcendentalist period, people valued different things but in our culture we value fame. So I always understood that that was the basis for me being known, in the world because people wouldn’t be able to hear you, unless you came with some swag or swagger, you know?

And I also understood that that was just the foundation to be heard but that there was a lot more to be said. So for me, owning a network or being a part of a network is about continuing to use that platform to raise the consciousness. I do a show on Sundays, which you can stream live called Super Soul Sunday, where I literally talk to thought leaders from around the world and ask the questions. Not as good as you, I’m going to consult with you.

Ask the questions in life that really matter to get people thinking about what really matters in their lives and the responses that I get from people, just regarding that show let me know that I’m on the right track. I’m moving inthe right direction and so, I’m not afraid because I know that all of us have limited time here but the real question is who are you and what do you want to do with it? And how are you going to use who you are?

My favorite line from Seat of the Soul is when the personality comes to serve the energy of your soul, that is authentic empowerment. So as graduates of this great school, to take what you’ve learned here, to take what is a part of your nature and what you’ve developed as skills and what really feeds your passion, to take that and to align that with the deeper potential impossibility of your soul’s coming.

If you align your personality with what your soul came to do, and everybody has it, align your personality with your purpose and nobody can touch you and you wake up everyday and you are fired up.

You’re just like oh, my God, another day! It’s so great! Because everybody has a purpose. So your whole thing is to figure out what that is.
Your real job is to figure out why you’re really here and then get about the business of doing that.
That’s it.

Amanda: So we all know now what we have to do, right?

Oprah Winfrey: Yeah.

Amanda: So Oprah, thank you so much.

Oprah Winfrey: Are we going take some questions?

Amanda: Well, yeah, so that’s what I wanted to say. I’d love to put it up.

Oprah Winfrey: Everybody has a class at 1:15, right? Okay, I’ll get you out of here. They told me hard out. One o’clock.

Amanda: Yeah. But so we think we have, do we have a first question from Twitter, coming forward?

Question And Answer Session Transcript Oprah Winfrey Stanford